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I’ve been dating this guy for a couple of months now. We’ve gotten very serious. We started to talk about sex and he said he wanted to have sex with me. I’m still a virgin but he isn’t. I wanna lose my virginity to him but I’m not sure. How will I know when I’m ready to have sex? By the way, I feel ready now but I’m scared because I heard it hurts and I will cry and bleed while having sex.
First off, is he putting pressure on you to say yes to having sex? If so, you are probably feeling like he’s backing you into a corner and you have no way out. If he’s giving you an ultimatum, like "I think we should break up if we don’t start having sex," or "You don’t really love me if you won’t have sex with me," things are probably not right between you and it’s a sign that he doesn’t understand how you’re feeling. You wouldn’t want to have sex with someone who just doesn’t get you, right?
As for all the scary parts about having sex for the first time, like it hurting and causing you to bleed, those things can make you nervous, but they aren’t really a big deal. You won’t bleed very much, probably just a spot, if anything. And it might hurt the first time, but it will hurt less if you are relaxed and comfortable with the person you are with. If it’s too stressful and your muscles are tight, it will be uncomfortable and hurt more. If you feel like your boyfriend will be grossed out by the blood or not understanding of your feelings during your first time, you probably aren’t ready to go through with it. You shouldn’t push yourself.
Don’t let him dictate this big step in your relationship. If you don’t want to do it right now, he should understand that if he really likes you. If he’s pushy and frustrated, maybe there are other issues between you two.
Think about it.
take care,
heather
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