confession: waiting until you’re ready

"I always thought a normal age to lose one’s virginity was around age 11 and felt like a loser when I turned 12 and hadn’t had sex yet. I wish someone had told me about the concept of ‘waiting until you’re ready’ because I thought everyone was supposed to just do it the first opportunity they had. I didn’t know some people even waited until marriage…"

–a gURL user

What do you think about waiting until you’re ready? Confess.

Got an idea for a confession topic? Send an email to feedback@gurl.com with the subject line: Confession: sex ed blog. We might choose yours to share!


Posted in: Confessions, Health, Sex & Relationships, Virginity
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  • Georgina

    15, a day after my birthday, raped, i was badly drunk and he was 17, i was screaming but nobody came and after it he stole my phone, but luckily his own mother grassed him up, he reffered to his mother that we where boyfriend and girlfriend, it makes me sick:( don’t even know if he used a condom, to scared to get checked nor tell my parents! my friends don’t really care on what happened, but i wish i still could proudly say i was a virgin, but i lie when people ask saying i am a virgin with a heartbreak inside.

    • maya

      You’re still a virgin if you are raped. Trust me, everybody I know agrees with me. You need to get someone to help you! Tell your parents or something! This guy needs to be brought to justice, good luck sweetheart.

  • TAMMY

    TO JILL…DONT HAVE SEX WITH HIM JUST BECAUSE U FEEL BAD ABOUT NOT GIVING HIM 'SOME'. U SAID IT YOURSELF THAT HE'S NOT PRESSURING U..WHICH IS A GOOD SIGN. MAYBE HE CAN WAIT UNTIL BOTH OF U R READY. U R 15 AND U HAVE PLENTY OF TIME TO HAVE SEX. TRUST ME U R NOT MISSING OUT ON ANYTHING. U MIGHT BE MISSING OUT ON THINGS WHEN U R HAVING SEX. FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO DO. IF HE CANT WAIT OR HE STARTS PRESSURING U THEN HE'S NOT THE ONE FOR U.
    HOPE THAT HELPS.

  • Jill

    i have just turned fifteen at the end of December. i have been going out with my boyfriend for five months. i am a virgin but he wants to have sex. we talked about sex about a month ago but his mum was in his room and looked at his phone and seen texts so she made him dump me but we told her wat happened and she understands about peer pressure and advised us to go back out which seemed weird. i have given him a handy but i dont know how to give him head or a BJ can someone help.? he wants to have sex but he doesnt pressure me but i feel bad for not giving him want he wants. i dont know what to do will someone please write back and help me.?it would mean alot. x

  • TAMMY

    IM 21. I HAVE BEEN PREGNANT 3 TIMES. I LOST MY VIRGINITY AT 14 AND GOT PREGNANT AT 15…I DIDNT KEEP THE BABY…I STILL FEEL SAD BECAUSE OF IT THO. AND I GOT PREGNANT AGAIN AT AGE 18 BUT I HAD A MISCARRIAGE AT 4 MONTHS…A BABY GIRL…I WAS DEPRESSED FOR A WHILE.I GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL. THEN FINALLY I GOT PREGNANT AGAIN AT AGE 19 HAD A BEAUTIFUL BABY BOY AT 20. IM 21 AND I CANT FIND A JOB AND IM NOT IN COLLEGE…I PLAN TO. CANT FIND A BABY SITTER…CANT AFFORD DAYCARE…SO TO SUM IT ALL UP YES I DO THINK ITS WORTH WAITING TO HAVE SEX. I DNT THINK U HAVE TO BE MARRIED BUT I THINK U SHOULD FINISH HIGH SCHOOL, GO TO COLLEGE, FIND A GOOD JOB. IN OTHER WORDS BE MENTALLY STABLE, FINANCIALLY STABLE, AND HAVE YOUR OWN PLACE. BECAUSE HAVING SEX CAN HAVE MANY CONSEQUENCES BEHIND IT…

    • chattiekattie

      omg, that is like a heart-to-heart story! I so believe u!

  • camila

    im 15 and i just lost my virginity with my bf 2 weeks ago.
    funny thing is.weve only been going out for 3 weeks.
    i know what ur thinking.but im not that type of girl.
    it felt so right.i mean weve been friends for 2 years and have liked eachother since we met.we just recently started dating.both of us have had some ugly breakups over the past years and we werent ready for a relationship until now.
    it wasnt like spur of the moment thing either.
    we planned everything together.
    whether or not we were going to get completely naked.if we were going to his place or mine.all that jazz.
    there r people in my life that im hesitant to tell.like my bff since kindergarten.and my mom
    both of them would be soooo disappointed in me
    but i really felt like it was the right time with the right person. 🙂

  • Steph

    Dude, thats CRAZY. I remember there was a rumor of a girl in 5th grade about her sleeping with someone…yet, at that time, I thought everyone meant they just shared the same bed (lol) Now I look back upon it and laugh that I didn't know what that all was.

  • supaflyy

    WOOOWWW!! SEX AT 11? SOUNDS CRAZY BUT ITS TRUE!! WHEN I WAS IN THE 5TH GRADE BACK IN THA DAY LOL I REMEMBER A GURL THAT WERE IN MY CLASS KEPT BRAGGING THAT SHE WAS DATING AN 8TH GRADER AND SHE "GAVE" HIM HER VIRGINITY ON THEIR 2 MONTH ANNIVERSARY. AND TO THIS DAY FOR THE LIFE OF ME I CANNOT THINK OF WHERE IN ANY OF THE WORDS THAT WAS COMING OUT OF HER MOUTH SPOKE NOW THATS A REEL COOL THING TO DO!!! YOU WANNA KNO WHATS GOIN ON IN HER LIFE NOWW?? MAYBE SHE'LL HAVE TIME TO TELL YOU AFTER SHE TAKE THA KIDS TO DAYCARE AND THE BABY TAKES ITS NAP!! REEL SHIT EARLY SEX CORRUPTS YOUR MIND AND TAKES AWAY YOUR CHILDHOOD BY FORCING YOU TO FEEL YOURE GROWN. SEX TAKES ALOT OF MATURITY FAR TOO MUCH THAN ANY 11 YR OLD WOULD HAVE AT THIS POINT IN LIFE. ENJOY YOUR CHILDHOOD WHILE YOU CAN. DONT BE IN SUCH A RUSH TO GROW UP BECAUSE ONCE YOURE THERE, ITS NO GOING BACK; TIME ONLY MOVES FORWARD

  • sometimes I wanna laugh when reading this board. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING HAVING SEX AT 13 YEARS OLD? even though I think many people doesn't wait around till marriage, I always thought they have to be AT LEAST 17 years old…
    and worse, anyone had sex on 11? My sister, who's 11 years old, almost puke on the fact. You guys should really consult a doctor…
    I'm 15, virgin, proud of it, in a relationship, he's 19, and we're both took a vow of chastity to wait until marriage… it's cool actually. to wait for someone special in your wedding night…
    plus, I wore purity ring. What does it reads? There's a writing in my ring and it says, "true love waits"
    think about that

  • Love?

    So im 14 and so is my boyfriend ive know him f0r 2 years now, and i know i love him. and so does my family. he comes over all the time for all the holidays. Its been 4months now, and we have been having conversations about sex, i want to wait. but he doesn't and i feel like im letting him down. The farthest i had ever gone with a guy was french kissing. but with my new boyfriend now, i gave him a hand job. I don't regret it. So i think that maybe doing more foreplay and not sex would be better for alot of girls that are questioning if they are ready and as soon as you are comfortable with everything else, then go dive in for sex.

  • Jasira

    I lost my virginity @ 16 and my cousin who is 3 years younger than me lost hers @ like eleven. By the time I'd lost my own virginity she'd had sex with about 10 dudes when I was still at one. I'm about to be 19 in a few days and I've had sex wit 3 guys. Sometimes I wish I would've waited because just like some gurls, I did it out of curiosity and not out of love. Cuz if I had, I'd only be at one by now. And even though I'd have regretted that one, I know that I was in love with him at one point in time and I would've been comfortable sleeping with him.

  • deena

    I'm 20 now and I lost my virginity at 17 about a month before my 18th birthday. I had sex for all the wrong reasons and with the wrong person. This is gonna sound really weird but I was just really curious and just wanted to say I did it. So I picked the guy I kinda had a crush on, randomly led him on and lost my virgnity in his car. I look back on it and oddly for me I just felt like "okay I did it" almost like a relief. I feel so bad and awkward, semi-slutty for it but I'm not sure if I regret it. About 6 months later I met my now fiance but we waited a month until we had sex but a part of me wishes I kind of would have waited for him, but part of me has no regrets about my first time. It is a mature decision to have sex, I was ready….for the experience… But I wasn't ready to be mature about how special it should really be. Virginity is like a bubble, one prick and it's gone. There TRULY are no redos.

  • mousey

    >.<
    Still a virgin, don't plan (of course life is what happens when you have other plans, SOOOO) to have sex until I'm 18…
    But I am SO. DAMN. HORNY.
    And I'm barely 13.
    … five years seems so long…