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Question: I recently became sexually active with my boyfriend. When we first had sex, it didn’t hurt, bleed or really feel like anything. To this day, I still don’t feel much stimulation at all. I am worried that I am one of those women who won’t feel anything from sex. What’s wrong with me?
Answer: Probably nothing! What’s most likely is that you just aren’t having the kind of sexual experience that is right for you. Sex is about a lot more than just inserting part A into slot B and waiting for fireworks. But a lot of us have a pretty skewed idea of what sex is supposed to look like. We can blame it on porn, Hollywood romances, or misleading magazine articles. Whatever the cause, sometimes we forget about things like foreplay, the clitoris, and that (as sex educators love to point out), our biggest sex organ lies between our ears and not between our legs.
You should also know that you aren’t alone. In fact, one in three women doesn’t have orgasms during sex with a partner! Partly, this is because the clitoris–which is the most sensitive part of a woman’s genitals–isn’t always stimulated during vaginal sex. But touching this part of the body, either with hands, a sex toy or through oral sex, is actually what helps most women have orgasms. You can do this instead of vaginal sex or before, during or after penetration.
Here are a few other things you can try:
A common reason that people have unsatisfying sex is that they don’t speak up. It can seem really embarrassing to say (in your own words, of course), "Um, this whole penis/vagina thing isn’t totally doing it for me. How about a little more clit action?" But often, that’s all it takes to make your experience way more enjoyable.
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Would You Rather?
Would You Rather?
I’d like to know how to deal with this.
I know, I won’t ever have sexual pleasure (from pure genital stimulation) again, because the nerves in my back are messed up. Simply put; due to an injury, I am unable to sense the touch to the genital area in any normal way – and there for, I can’t orgasm. Yes I sense some things, but in wrong ways. An example: a soft brush, over my clit causes sharp and real pain. I can’t really even feel when or IF my man is inside me. So it’s impossible to orgasm. Yes I get aroused, I get easily wet and I love sex. Its more than physical for sure – but I get more pleasure emotionally than physically, and well.. from seeing him have his climax.
In a way I have an answer about that for me. I center on his pleasure, not mine. So I won’t jump into a river – lol – it never felt like an end of the world to have lost that. This happen before I found him, and then I did not really find anyone so much interesting that it mattered. Now it does – but as its impossible – then I enjoy in other ways. Factually I love our sexlife. Besides.. I can still walk little bit. But still there is the question; how about an ‘answer’ for my man.
How do I make sure he will more than understand – also FEEL and KNOW that he IS adequate in every way?
I do all I can to note even the nice and usual things he sometimes do and tell him how lovely it was. I have learned to appreciate so very simple things much more than people even notice. So I center on giving pleasure to him, but he enjoys to give that for me too.. and as I feel kinda ‘over needy’ – maybe because of not being able to climax – he asked if he does not touch me enough. I can get that any decent man would likely feel bit uncertain in some ways if they could not make their woman climax – him too as he is so caring – but he has no reason to take a burden on himself.
He is my very dream – ho do I care for him about this?
Yeah, I can’t feel anything during sex either. That goes for all positions. On top, missionary, doggy etc. When I’m on my back I can’t even get access to my clit due to the fact that the only way he can enter is with my legs up around his neck and my thighs are so thick there is no access to my clit. Not that rubbing that even helps, I have next to no sensation in my clitoris either. Oral does nothing for me. In fact I kind of fell asleep the last time he tried oral. I wish sex was enjoyable but I don’t even get wet anymore.
i have had the same problem until i tried weed now when ever me and my husband smoke sex is pleasurable
My boyfriend and I just recently had sex (Yesturday) and it was my first time, we didn’t do it for very long because we didn’t have much time. But from start to the last time he pulled out I didn’t feel much. I could feel when he pulled out but once he was in I couldn’t really feel it. And I kind of wanted it to hurt and wanted him to be more rough with me. He asked me how it was and of course I said it was great, I didn’t want to mess up the guys confidence. Did I not enjoy it because of the lack of time we had? Or is something wrong with me?
My wife has said the same thing about our sex life that she doesn’t feel much during vaginal sex, and because of just that she believes we don’t have much left
but she may not feel much vaginally but she loves it when I use my tongue and goes crazy 
so maybe reading a few of these articles will help her see it is not just about part A into part B lol. Thanks ladies for your insight 
and I always make sure she is satisfied 
no sense to not return the favor 
Let me add I usually always take care of her first, before myself and that usually even makes me let go and then get excited again then we usually have a great time
Totaly feel the same… Al the guys that i’ve slept with are selfish they dont care wether you are satisfied or nat ol they care abt is how gud they feel. I have now given up the disire to have an “O”…
I have the same problem, I've been with my boyfriend for almost two years and I have faked it evrytime we have ever had sex, sometime I feel close to having the big "o" but it never happens.
clitoral stimulation is the only way I can feel anything.
FINALLYYY !! IM NOT ALONE. god. i feel so much better right now. ive been thinking there was something wrong with me. I really wish i knew how to fix this though…. like honestly. its hell. ): weird thing is. sometimes i cant even feel anything through foreplay…
i had this problem for a while with my boyfriend. sex just hurt me too much and wasn't pleasurable. then i started doing it some more, and it took a few tries and still hurts every time at first. i tried to really put my mind to it and he would help stimulate me and stuff and finally one day it happened. sometimes it is difficult, but don't stress yourself out over it. after some time, i wondered about how other girls could get there multiple times in one session. i felt like i could NEVER do that, i thought it was basically impossible for me. the other night though, it randomly happened. i orgasmed once, and then a minute later i felt another one coming on! i was so surprised, and it felt so good! my boyfriend was really happy, hehe. it just takes time and practice.
oh, I have the exactly same problem.
I get orgasms through oral and masturbation but not through sex. You're not alone. But it really feels like you are.
I really don't want to be one of those woman who can never feel good during sex. It gets me so down. =(
if u ever need to talk. I am here!
xx
A lot of the time though the problem isn't you or your body, it's your boyfriend.
)
Some guys don't think about satisfying their girlfriend first, so they mainly do what they know feels good to them, so they can have an orgasm. It's not really a consious thing they do to be greedy or selfish, I don't think, it's just that when something feels good, you usually do it, right?
I guess what the people here that don't feel anything should do is tell you partner what's up, but in a good way. If you tell a man flat out that he's not satisfying you, it will hurt his ego, BIGTIME. But if you say something like "I've always had this fantasy about…" & then say what you want him to do, he might actually do it. Because if he knows what you like, he's more likely to do it more often, because he will get satisfaction (ego boost!!) from knowing he made you feel good.
I'm not like a pro on sex or anything, lol, but I think that might just work.
(hopefully it does, no one deserves to have bad sex
i hate having sex sometimes i can't feel a dang thing its sucks i feel so alone like eevryonei know can but i can't
im the same way i cant feel anything except when he puts it in then after that.im ust laying there stupid..
i know when i have sex with my bf i never feel a thing..it sucks but its true…i have to fake it alot of times just to not make him sad…i want him to think hes pleasureing me but its so hard….i just wanna feel something
I know how you feel sometimes. Being, er, "licked out", I feel something, a good something, but it didn't take me all the way.
I feel totally like you, i never get pleasure out of having sex, sometimes it feels sensative but never like WOW, i thought i was weird but when i masturbated i felt something there that felt good, but i can only masturbate if my legs are in a certain position, otherwise i lost it. Its reall weird but getting licked out and anything, i dont feel a thing