the sexes and sex drives

Question #1: Is it normal for me to crave sex with my boyfriend all the time?
Question #2: Why does it seem like guys want to have sex more than girls want to have sex?

Answer: Seeing these questions remind me that some longstanding gender stereotypes about sex are still alive and well!

Ladies–It’s perfectly normal for you to have a sex drive and want to get it on all the time. Fellas–You don’t get to lay claim to being the hornier sex. Girls dig doing it, too!

So why are we still stuck on the idea that “guys want to have sex more than girls want to have sex” or that it’s weird for girls to “crave” it? Here are three reasons:

1) Movies. From eighties hits like Porky’s and Sixteen Candles all the way to last year’s Superbad, generations of comedies about teens and sex have made it seem as if girls are prudes and guys are slaves to their penises.

2) Biology. We’re a little confused when it comes to the workings of the body. Yes, boys produce testosterone. And yes, testosterone can take a lot of credit for the sex drive. But here’s a newsflash: girls produce testosterone too. Just like with guys, this hormone also contributes to girls’ sex drives! But because a girl is a lot less likely to have a wet dream or a spontaneous math class erection, we assume they aren’t feeling the effects as strongly.

3) Society. It’s 2008 and a woman is a strong contender to be the next President of the United States, yet girls still learn that they should play hard to get and that they shouldn’t appear overly interested in sex. Though some of society’s views about women are loosening up, a whole lot of others remain firmly in the dark ages.

Some girls want to have sex all the time. Some are less interested. Just like guys. The difference between guys and girls is that girls are more likely than guys to feel the need to hide their sexual feelings.

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Posted in: Ask an Expert, Health, Sex & Relationships, Hooking Up
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  • its.me.

    okay so i need some advice.

    i have been in a comited relationship with this guy for 2years on monday the 11th. we are both vergins, im 15 & he will be 16 in december. && we want to have sex for our anniversery, i know weird. but whatever. now the thing is, is that when he like… goes down on me or fingers me i dont..get wet.. like.. it feels good. but like nothing happens. is that a bad sign? what'll happen when we have sex, will it feel good? or just a waste of time..? some one please helpp.

  • Ali <3

    Whew. I'm always craving sex with my husband, I was scared I wasn't normal…
    🙂

  • Ali <3

    Whew. I’m always craving sex with my husband, I was scared I wasn’t normal…
    🙂

  • luckiiicharms

    well im 16 n i lost mine @ 15 to this one guy who i use to like but he had a gf at the time . so i havent had sex for like a year until like 3 or 4 weeks ago with this other boi i use to like n we were both craving for it so we just did it n i kind of made a mistake cuz i ask him did he have protection n he said no but we did it n e ways !! n i was so scared that i couldnt believe wat i did so it took me along tyme to have a menstrual until like 4 days ago i was so happy that i did but i'll never now im like now beating myself up for it cuz i havent tooken a pregancy test yet .

  • me

    umm not lost my virginity yet….but yea hvin a lil sex drive……..mahh bf is ready too n hu noes wats gonna happen n when is it gonna happn??? ohh n btw, rose miller's loss ov virginity seems wayyy romantic[lucky u]…….
    p.s. m 13 n a half [lol]

  • paco

    well like i lost it at 13 im 14 now.. we now each other 4 3 years..i did it cuz i loved him and like yea. me and him are still great frinds and we dont bring it up a lot but sometimes its scary like he expects me 2 do things..its weird but i havent done anything really.but it dose hurt cuz like i really thought he loved me later i relized he never did. i dont no wat 2 do now 2 i dont even no if i love him…

  • hannah

    im a vigin and im proude but not,even though im only 12 years old.and see my boyfriend is heavy set and im a fraid to kiss him casuse everyone wil make fun of me so just imagine what would happen if we had sex.i cant even begin to imagine.all though this may sound really weird coming from a 12 year old but i want to hav sex.but if i do my parents will kill me and i will be known as the school skank and no one will be my friend.but i think that i have fount the right guy and i think that i will lose my viginity to him but not to soon but soon enough.

  • erica.

    okay so i'm 16 and i lost my virginity when i was 15 with a guy who i had known for almost a year. to be honest before meeting him i had to decided to be a virgin until marriage but i felt like i was ready. i had been close to having sex with other guys but i didn't go through with it but with this guy i just felt so comfortable with him that i would have rather had lost it to him than any of those other guys. now that i look at it i wish i could have waited until marriage but i know that it meant something to me..to this day i've had sex three times, two with that guy and once with another and i don't regret any of those times even though i rarely talk to them now. i learned to be more cautious about who to have sex with. currently i'm talking to a guy and we've talked about it, but we've decided to take it slow because we don't want to rush and mess what we have up.
    all i have to say is make sure you're ready and choose carefully about who you want to have sex with.

  • Trinity

    I'm thirteen and I really don't want anything to do with…that. No, I am not an immature girl who is still convinced that all males have cooties. I just don't see myself even thinking about dating anyone ever. If I do, I am going to be much older. It's not for me, but I don't care about 11-yr. olds loosing their virginity. Sure, it is disturbing, It goes againts my own policy, yes. Do I think it is ridiculous for them to even date? Yes (Hello, you date because you consider the possibility of marriage…). But hey, I've never been in thier situation.

  • flyingh3art

    I'm a virgin, and i'm neither proud nor ashamed about it. I'm 16. I completely respect ppl having lost their virginity (or not) as long as it was a good experience and as long as you were ready. Keep safe!! ^^

  • Haley

    I lost my virginity when I was 14. I was dating this guy for 3 weeks but we had known each other for a while. He was 5 years older and I guess you could say that there was a big ass age difference and maybe that’s why things didn’t work out. After we had sex he expected more and more often. Some days I even had to say I was on my period to get out of having sex. I guess you could say he wasn’t the right guys to loose my virginity to because he was so controlling and demanding. I was more in love with being loved then actually loving the person. I won’t say that I regret it because to this day I don’t, I just wish he treated me better, because I really did love him and I would love to be with him but times have changed and him and I are both different people now and even though we will always have that chemistry, we would never work. Late at night I always ask myself if he was the biggest love of my life or a disappointment in my life.

  • jaelie

    i am 14 and have had sex just last night and now he guy dosent act the same and it sucks because i really like him