gURLs sound off on sex ed at their schools

Writing this blog has taught me a lot about the situation inside America’s “sex education” classrooms.


Some of my knowledge has come from closely following the news on this topic, but plenty has also come directly from comments that you have left after the posts.


I’ve really enjoyed reading them, so I thought I would share some highlights with you:


ArielMeog says, “I live in North Carolina … I can tell you loads of bull crap I got from the abstinence-only ed. It’s the whole “girls give sex to get love, boys give love to get sex.” They basically promoted the stereotypes that girls were weak and gullible while boys were unable to control their urges.


In my ninth grade health textbook there was a load of information on drugs such as marijuana, crack cocaine, heroin, barbiturates, meth … very comprehensive information. But when it came to sex it was ‘SEX IS BAD, YOU ARE GUARANTEED AN STD AND PREGNANCY. PLUS, IT GOES AGAINST YOUR RELIGIOUS BELIEFS!’ And I go to a public school.”


Leah says, “At my school in Michigan, we get the whole abstinence-only education crap. Even our STD unit sucks. They basically tell us, ‘If you have sex, you will get chlamydia and die, even if the person does not have chlamydia. If you wait until you get married, you will never ever get an STD … even if your husband has one.’


In the entire program, (STD and standard sex ed) I never heard the words “condom” or “birth control”–except the first day, when we were told that we weren’t allowed to say them. The sex ed unit was just about a bunch of pregnant girls talking about how much their life sucks.”



Elizabeth says, “When I was in ninth grade, sex ed was taught by my health teacher. He was a football coach and did the ‘sex is scary, giving birth is scary, and sex will make you diseased and gross’ thing.


Miranda says, “In eighth grade (supposedly our “big sex ed year”) it was kinda comprehensive, which was good, only our teacher was a big believer in abstinence until marriage and she kept talking about our virginity as a “gift to give to the right man” and other stuff like that.



Anna says, “We just recently had the annual ‘AIDS Presentation.’ It essentially told us this:


  • We push abstinence-only, because you’re irresponsible
  • All drugs will kill you the first time
  • We push abstinence-only
  • People get high and get raped at all raves
  • The techno music at raves will make you start worshipping Satan
  • We PUSH abstinence only
  • If your boy/girlfriend shows any signs of jealousy, s/he’s abusing you
  • WE PUSH ABSTINENCE-ONLY


I also learned that most of the, like, 200 7th graders at my school think that if a girl is the victim of domestic (dating) abuse, it’s her fault. How sad is that? Really. It makes me sick.”



Deanna says, “I’m in 9th grade, in Georgia. In 6th grade we began the ‘real’ sex-ed class and the teacher stated that abstinence was the only way to protect yourself from HIV/AIDS and she didn’t mention that condoms would serve any purpose until I raised my hand!


Now, we are taught abstinence and a little bit about contraception. This year I was lucky enough to have a teacher who was straightforward and knew how to get through to kids. His stance was, ‘Even if we don’t want them to have sex, they’re gonna do it, so they might as well learn how to be safe when doing it.’ He was great. The only bad thing was he couldn’t answer all the questions because of the laws.”



Opheliasawake says, “My sex ed class was horrible. We went into great detail about STDs and AIDS, and then my teacher propagated several myths, including (but not limited to) condoms having a 30% failure rate and that AIDS arose from homosexual sex. I brought in an article from a scientific journal that demonstrated that the HIV virus came from a hunter getting contaminated monkey blood on his hands. She responded by making us watch a video from the Reagan era where a female AIDS victim who got it from a bad transfusion told us that abstinence was the only way to avoid HIV. She also refused to publicize the location of Planned Parenthood, where I used to volunteer. Not exactly ‘You will get pregnant and die,’ but close.”



What’s sex ed like at your school?


Posted in: Health, Sex & Relationships, The State of Sex Ed, Virginity
Tags: , , ,
  • CaseyParker

    In 9th grade I had a Physical Science teacher who broke the laws about sex ed by saying, "What happens in this room STAYS in this room. What we talk about is for YOUR knowledge because the bigwigs upstairs think that this is WRONG." He told us about everything, birth control, condoms, abstinence, and even gave us a resource to get free tests and condoms (about a block or two from our school). His philosophy was "I know you guys. You're going to do it. So be careful, dumbasses." He always swore and such to make us feel comfortable, because he knew that "people were going to have to deal with assholes eventually" and would demonstrate effectiveness of sexual means. Once, he demonstrated how long a condom was my stretching it over his arm and then saying, "It won't break unless it's dried out, like in a wallet, but you should test it this way either way. And no one is too big for a condom."
    It sucks that you guys have idiot teachers.

  • monkey!

    I'm a sophomore at a private Catholic high school in Kansas City, MO. Last year, me & my best friend wondered why we didn't have sex ed… I mean, not that we were all doing it or just wanted to talk about it, but a lot of people need to know these things. We pushed it with our nurse and she tried a few things… They didn't work. I think they should have a sex ed class because it might teach some of us things that we don't know and mistakes we could be making. Well, last year, my best friend also got pregnant. Not that sex ed would have taught her that sex would get her pregnant, but maybe it could have taught her and pushed her more to protect herself… I think once teenagers reach a certain age, they're mature enough to talk about these things & they need to start talking about these things freely so they can be as informed as possible.

  • Annoymous

    First off, on my schedule it says, "Family Living," not sex ed, even though it obvious is sex ed. Anyway, my teacher was cool, she was funny and that made it a lot less awkward. Also, she's been our teacher since about 2nd grade, so by then we didn't care. It was 8th grade and since 5th grade there has been some sex ed units. In 8th grade, she went over abstinence, encouraged it as… the only 100% way to not get pregnant/get an STD. Then she continued to inform us thoroughly about condoms, the pill, etc. I already knew about all of it by 8th grade–but for those who didn't, I think the class was very informative. My health teacher even showed us her "Have safe lunch, use condiments!" shirt. That was a fun class. This year however (9th grade) it is not the case. I have a ton of homework, and everything is so incredibly vague. For people who go to my high school that didn't go to my middle school (which is about 20%) must be VERY confused from that class. I hate it, and my teacher is a jerk. He's one of those teachers who never lets you use the bathroom during there class, down to a point where some girl asked him a bunch of times, and then yelled at him that she had to change her tampon and just left. That's another thing, I notice that a lot of girls are totally uneducated about TSS syndrome… not a good thing.

  • Jess

    I am in 8th grade and live in Michigan. Our sex ed started in 4th grade!!! We learned right away exactly what sex is.

  • emily

    I am 17 and I think the last time I was in an actual sex-ed class was tenth or ninth grade. Recently, every senior got a talk on STDs and AIDs because we are going off to college. But in all my years of sex-ed education I noticed that they left one little group of people out; gays. Maybe it's because it's such a taboo subject but I really think that schools should also educate on safe sex in the gay community it really made me feel isolated in all my sex-ed classes because it was information that really didn't pertain to me.

  • Pauls girll

    well i was suposed to get into sex ed class this year but the pricaple decided not to becouse one kis xaveir was yellin our eewww and yuck wen the teacher said penise or sperm or even vagina and everyone got tired of him and my freind chance threw him out thw window of the classroom and he got suspended and now we cant have anymore sexed classes at school and it sux becouse i was really lookin forword to learning about it but nope they had to do some stupid shit like that