dear heather,
My father passed away from cancer seven years ago but when I think about him it still hurts as bad as it did when he died. Whenever I see his picture or someone asks about him I get choked up. I don’t want to forget about him, but I’m tired of feeling this way. How can I get over his death and get on with my life?

I’m sorry to hear about your dad. Mourning is so unpredictable–you never know how long it will last, but that intense sadness will eventually pass. You may always get a little choked up at times when you think about your dad, but it won’t always be so overwhelming.

Since the pain is still so intense, it may help to talk to someone about your feelings. A school counselor is a good start. He or she would also be able to help you find resources in your area if more long-term therapy is necessary.

In addition to sadness, you may have other feelings that are keeping you connected so strongly to the pain. You might be angry that your dad was taken away from you at such an early age, or perhaps even angry at him for “leaving you.” There are many possibilities.

I’d recommend that you allow someone to help you through this who can help you untangle your feelings and examine them.

take care,
heather