what defines “virginity”?

h1t5e4 says, "I don’t believe in the whole ‘losing your virginity’ thing. I know that sounds weird, but let me explain. I don’t think that by having any kind of sexual experience you lose something, I think you gain something. You gain that experience and learn about yourself and maybe get a stronger connection with that person. But you don’t get rid of anything.

"It’s all up to you. I think you could have sex with a guy that and still be a ‘virgin’ (or whatever you wanna call it) if it didn’t mean anything to you, and you can be with a girl and not be a virgin."

What do you think? Leave a comment below. Or, if you want to join the discussion on the boards, go to the when girls like girls board.

Posted in: Health, Sex & Relationships, Hooking Up, Virginity
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  • hill

    ok not to be rude because i know there are some people whos parents don't have the "birds & bees" talk with them. but obviously if you haven't have a guys penis in ur vagina u r still a virgin, and fingers don't count either. even if it went in for a second not rub against it but, in there u are not a virgin anymore.

  • jacei

    I'm 18 & I'm still a virgin. I'm very church oriented but not to where I'm gonna be a nun or anything. "Losing" my virginity means something to me…a lot of girls that have already done seem like they regret it & want me to keep mine so I won't make a mistake. To me, I just want to get it over with but I don't have the courage or passion to "do it". But to me, my 1st time does have to be special b/c I've waited so long…& that's what I want. Something special. But I know for a fact that I'm not waiting until marriage, but if it doesn't happen until then, so-be-it! As long as it was special to me.

  • Sam

    I "lost" my virginity to a man who lied to me, i regreted it for a very long time but they are right when they say that you gain something from it. when i "lost" it i felt ashamed because everyone makes it a bigger deal then it should be. I am now with a very loving man and we are very happy, but we dont have "sex" we make love because it means something much deeper to us. Virginity means something different to everyone…find what it means to you and you have all the control!

  • Dylan

    im having 2nd thoughts about that. i think that really is true.

  • delilah

    i had a guy over my house after skool, n him n i were experimenting, we did not have sex bcuz we didn't have the goods(pills,condoms etc.), which was weird bcuz he always had them on him but anyway. We groped(touched),kissed, he sucked my nipple,I liked it!:D Basically we had dry sex, am i still a virgin???
    P.S. if we had the goods i would have gone all the way! X.X

  • Cindy

    You can be a born again virgin, but you've got to mean it in your heart and not go around sleeping with everyone in sight. Because God will forgive but You should be serious about it. if you sleep with 20 people, and keep on sleeping with people, you are clearly not a virgin who are you tying to kid! Its like saying the sky is not blue, because in my mind it is red, that is so stupid you are either virgin or not with the exception of getting forgiviness from God, and then Sticking to your word. Because I know alot of people think you don't have to, that you can just do it over and over again on purpose and God will just turn a blind eye to it!

  • sarah m.

    If you've had a person down there it should mean that you've had a sexual experince. you can call it something else But God wants us to not have any sexual experinces. He wants us to wait til marriage to gain any of those.If you are born without a hymen, you should still remain non-sexual til marriage it doesn't matter how you word it.It still comes out to mean the same thing. Plus even if you gain something from your sexual partners you and your future husband will lose something because unless you lost your virginity with your first husband and then he dies and you remarry it will cheapen the phyiscal relationship you have with one another you will lose that and your Husband will be in constant wonder if he is the best and whatnot and then you have the fact it will be like your husband sleeping with all the guys you've ever slept with. There are more less emotional ways to gain an experince with someone like bowling!

  • emily

    The doctors say even if you've Only Had sexual intercourse once you are now sexually active, even if you are not having sex for awhile.