what gURLs think about virginity

One gURL says, "I think that virginity and waiting for your future spouse is a gift that too many people give away without thinking about it. I mean, you are only a virgin once, right? I am not a prude, and I don’t like to enforce my beliefs on other people but virginity is a win-win situation, you have NO chance of getting pregnant or STIs, you keep yourself and your emotions whole, you don’t have relationships based on sex, and your spouse and you will share something that no one else in the world will ever have."

Read more from what gURLS think about virginity. Then leave a comment below on what you think.

Posted in: Health, Sex & Relationships, Hooking Up, Virginity
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  • ????

    I really don’t like people who think that other people who have sex young are stupid or something. I mean,if you have sex REALLY young(like 13 and under) that is really pushing it and the consequences could be really bad. However,maybe they didn’t know what they were doing? Your not exactly informed of this stuff at a young age. So what are you suppose to do when a older guy comes and says ‘its totally normal,everyone’s doing it,come on its fun’? You wouldn’t know any better. Or maybe even if you were the same age as him when you were young and you just saw it on t.v or something and wanted to see what it was? So I try not to judge people for having it young. It may not be as wrong as you think.
    I had it at 16,and i love him and am still with him. It was amazing,and we do it any chance we can because it makes us feel more connected ๐Ÿ™‚ its great

  • Melinda

    I am seventeen and my boyfriend inoculated me from the illness of virginity five years ago when I was twelve. He had the proper tool, a nice hard cock. My first time was great. We are still together and still having sex. We have sex in my room and mom doesn’ t mind but she insists that I keep my door open even when Ralph and I are fuckinghard and loud. I told her at the time when I lost my virginity and she told me all about safe sex, to take the pill and use condoms!

  • i think that it is good to keep your virginity ontill you marrad or find the right person like another girl said stay a teen ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€


  • i definately think that your 1st time should be meaningful+special, but it's up to you to decide what you want it to mean. just because it wasn't with a spouse, or even someone you're dating, it doesn't make the experience less special if it's what you want.

  • ann

    I lost my virginity to my (also virgin) boyfriend at almost 20. It was planned, safe (condom + pill = no babies), and really special. I have no regrets about it- we're more in love than ever. You might be wondering what I'm doing on this site being so old and all–I guess it's just because I was an adolescent on this site too. So my advice: A) Plan ahead. B) Be sure that it's the right person (someone who listens to you and respects you!) and the right setting. C) Be ready to laugh– it can be awkward. D) Make your own choice. It's not your parents or your pastor or your sex-ed teacher having sex–it's YOU, so make the choice for yourself. It was a tough, complicated choice for us so good luck to everyone.

  • hily

    this is stupid. people care way to much about virginity. why the hell are you comparing it to getting in a car crash ? lol. sex, and emotion are two different things
    totally different.
    if youre not mature enough to handle sex, then dont friggen do it. people need to understand the consequences and not be stupid about it all.
    other than that its not a big deal, so go for it ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • deltaluvv3

    As long as u do it safe but not real young like 13 or 15,but wen ur older. Other than dat if you dont get harmed then viginty isnt really a big deal.

  • nee

    I don't really (personally) believe in no sex until marriage but I respect it. It takes a great GREAT effort, at least for me. I'm a very sexual being and it's something I'm passionate about. On more than just a physical level but spiritual as well. My boyfriend and I practice Tantra, spiritual sexual connection. It's slow and detailed and helps up connect in the deepest way I know possible. Yes some people may be happy with being married first but that isn't the only option. Marriage is something different to me, I guess. Sexuality with a serious partner helps for a long lasting bond and I think not having that when getting married can make it extremely awkward on both groom and bride. To me Tantra and sexuality is the tue/thur soccer practices and marriage is the international olympic match! Except only for two special people.

  • Denise

    I think everyone is ready at different times. I dont know if I'm going to wait or not wait until marrige. If I feel that I am ready to have sex, I will. For me that time isnt now. I do comend people that want to wait. Not for their values but for avoiding temtation. That in itself is very difficult. So idk wat I'm gonna do. But if I find someone I love that wants to wait, I'll wait until the end of time.

  • rosie

    People say that whole 'you're only worth something when you're a virgin' and all that crap to girls to keep them from getting pregnant. In Islam and probably some other extremist religions they give the mother of the girl the bloody sheets-like prize or something. "You have successfully sold your daughter to me as a virgin. What a good mother you are.' I guess that's why they force them to marry before they are fully developed; to make sure they don't have sex with someone else first and so they can't sell their daughters anymore. Oh no! Now how will they get rid of them?! They kill them, the fathers/brothers/husband does. I'm not kidding. Even if she was raped. Or broke the hymen while doing a sport or masturbating.
    If you want to wait, that's cool. Whatever works for you. But people can't go around criticizing girls who chose to share something special with someone special. Virginity is the first time, but it doesn't mean you are not worth anything anymore. You are still everything you were before, plus a little more.
    But if it feels right to you, then it is.

  • Sarah

    Abstaining from sexual activity is the safest choice in terms of STI's, unplanned pregnancies, relationships turned ugly and other unpleasant consequences. But we should keep in mind that being safe isn't our goal in life–our goal is to be happy and to share that happiness. Sure, you could try and stay safe from everything. If you never go within three kilometres of a car, you will never be hurt or killed in a car crash. But I think a person should weigh the risks against the possibilities. Think of all the places you will go and the people you will meet if you get behind the wheel. There are so many great experiences out there, and so many beautiful things. And there are precautions you can take to make it safer. Learning the rules of the road. Plotting your course before you head off. Getting your car serviced every x kilometres. Driving at a speed you can handle. And for goodness' sake, wear your seatbelt!
    When you think about it, you could hardly call staying away from something great a win-win situation. There is something you're sacrificing for extra safety. If you lived that way all the time, you would spend your whole life hiding under a rock.
    At any rate, it's a person's own decision how much risk they'll take for how much reward. Some people will say "Partnered sex isn't important enough for me to risk my body and my feelings." That's legitimate and wise. Sex isn't a vital thing in life in any way. On the other hand, there are people who will say "I would like to explore these experiences, even though I understand the inherent risks of partnered sex." That's also wise, as long as they actually have thought it through.
    I wrote this to talk about saving vaginal intercourse until you're married, but it also illustrates an idea that's important to me: Vaginal intercourse is just one activity. It shows trust, but otherwise it's one activity of many that are intimate and special.
    "Truthfully, you could say that if you save your first kiss for your spouse, it will be a special expression of love. You could never kiss anyone until you're married, whether that's at eighteen, twenty, thirty, sixty, or whenever. It would be an intimate experience that only the two of you share. Or perhaps you could save oral sex. Or massages. Or a bouquet of flowers. Or hot chocolate in front of the fire. Or, you could save vaginal intercourse. I don't have a problem with that, but I do have a problem when people seem to imply that if you've done something intimate before with someone else, it's somehow must be less special and intimate with the person you marry. /The person you effing MARRIED!/ Presumably because you love them, you know, a lot."

  • Marie-Hél&egr

    I agree with the first paragraph of what elizabeth wrote.
    My first time was not overly special. I did not give myself to my then boyfriend: we shared an experience. I would relate having sex for the first time with having my first orgasm than with a sacrifice.
    Also, the anticipation and ankwardness of the first time was not the greatest recipe for pleasure. I'm glad it did not happen on my wedding night. I'm also all for knowing my partner in every way before we get married. The last thing I would want would be to discover that we have no chemistry in bed.
    Finally, on one hand, I do not think having sex should have any bad connotations. On the other hand, if you choose a partner that will try his best to make it pleasurable for you,and with whom you will be able to communicate, the whole thing might be more fun.

  • Katie

    Personally I agree with both sides of the argument; sex is something special, and (especially the first time) it should be with someone you love. However, that doesn't necessarily mean you should have to wait until marriage. Like Elizabeth said, gay and lesbian couples can't get married, and others just choose not to. Why should they be deprived of something so pleasurable simply because they choose not to enter into a binding marital contract?
    But then, I do agree that sex is a huge step for a relationship, and often times people do have sex for the first time for the wrong reasons. Plenty of teens (guys AND girls) are exposed to all these sexed-up music videos and raunchy sex scenes in movies, and so they come to think it's not a big deal. I don't think anyone who's had sex could honestly tell you their first time wasn't a big deal. I think you should wait for love and security in your life, and that might not happen until marriage for some. Oh, and of course, always use protection. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • Mandi

    Thank you, Elizabeth.

  • Tatiana

    Ok I'm a Christian and i ould agree with Althaea, Molly, and Samantha. Although your partner may not wait or he may have waited you both still need to get tested, and ask anyone who waited til marriage. They'll say its good…and Sex is a physical oneness with a person that was meant to be shared with one person. If it's blessed by God how can anything go wrong, but it's your own personal choice that you have to deal with and if your first time was rape the bible says that doesn't count….so…

  • Elizabeth

    I have a totally different conception of the whole thing from the gURL quoted in the post. Virginity isn't a possession. Having sex for the first time is gaining an experience. Nothing gets "lost". Having sex doesn't mean you lose your innocent, or your self-respect, or your ability to make sex special. Sex can be special everytime you have it, even if its with your fifth partner, or if you've been having sex with the same person for twenty years.
    The idea that you have only one chance to make sex special is ridiculous. That would mean that girls whose first sexual experience is rape or divorced women are damaged goods, which is totally ridiculous.
    Christians try to romanticize the whole "saving it for your future spouse" thing. Most people's first time isn't a mind-blowing sexual experience. It's mostly pretty awkward, although it can really bring you closer to your partner if you actually have a relationship with them. Not to mention tons of people never find someone they want to legally bind themselves to and some people never want to and gay people aren't even allowed to get married, so what then?
    A girl's worth isn't wrapped up in her virginity, but that's what people mean when they say "Your virginity is special, you can only give it once." Then what are you without it? The answer: Not special. And that's crap.

    • Nancy

      You are very wise, Elizabeth!

  • molly

    I agree. If your married than you know for sure if that person cares about you and your body so therefore, one should wait. Im not judging, but I think the smarter decistion is staying a vigin or celebasy is the better decision for you.

  • samantha

    in selena gomezez ring it says true love waits. It totally does, beening a teen rocks.
    All i have to say is don't rush things.

  • Althaea

    I'd like to point out that virginity until marriage does not protect you 100% against STDs. Many, such as HIV can be transmitted through none-sexual means. Added to which you have no garuntee that your spouse has also waited (even if they say so).
    I personaly think virginity is no big deal, sure it's special, like your first step or your first kiss, but it's rarely a very pleasurable event. I'd hate my wedding night to have been like my first time. I think out of practicality a person should wait until they're with someone they love, but beyond that I don't think it's any of my buisness what a person does. As long as they take precautions (such as using condoms and the pill) their actions should effect only them. SO it's their choice as to what's right for them.