Question: My boyfriend and I have tried anal sex. The last time I bled and was sore for the next few days. Is this normal?
Answer: Ouch! That sounds uncomfortable, but it’s not uncommon. The main reason anal sex hurts is that people don’t listen to their bodies. Now I know the idea of listening to what your anus is trying to say sounds a little, well, weird. But bear with me for a second.
If something hurts, you need to stop until it doesn’t. Pain is your body’s way of saying that whatever you’re doing isn’t working out. Sometimes people think they just need to push past pain during sex. Other times they expect sex to leave them sore and bleeding. Don’t fall into those traps!
If you want to try anal in the future, follow these tips:
- Make sure to use lots of lube. If you think you’ve used enough, add a little more, just to be safe.
- Start small. A finger in the butt can help your body prepare to have something larger inserted.
- Go slow. Ease your way in and don’t force anything into the anus. Once your partner is inside you, he shouldn’t just start thrusting. Wait for your body to relax. When you feel ready for motion, let him know.
- If something hurts, stop.
- Did I mention, add more lube?
If you want to try anal again, go for it. But if it isn’t working out, don’t beat yourself up. Not all sex acts work for all people.