not worth the wait–even for abstinence fans

Recently, a Nevada based abstinence group launched a blog. I’m definitely not the intended audience, but even so, I can say pretty confidently that the posts on Worth the Wait, weren’t.

The site uses terms like "screenager" to describe media saturated youth and tells teens, "Maybe you’ve already given your virginity away and it’s impossible for you to be a virgin on your wedding night. Don’t trip…there’s hope for you, too." 

I don’t know about you, but to me, that sounds more than a little forced.

The choice of language isn’t the only thing that rings false. A post titled Carson High School Students Thrilled by Abstinence Message didn’t convince me that the summer school students in question were indeed "thrilled" to be told to wait to have sex until marriage, instead of say, lounging at the beach.

I was also wary of the fact that I just didn’t understand some of what the site was saying! I tried to follow the advice under the title, "Renewed Virginity: Everyday can be a do-over day, but how do you start over?

First teens are told, "When they have thoughts of starting over [many people think] ‘I’ve already done it, what good does it do to stop?’ But don’t let such negative thinking influence your actions." Later in the same post teens are admonished, "Just because you have already done it, doesn’t mean that you are now immune to the consequences. IF you are sexually active, and have been fortunate enough to avoid certain consequences such as pregnancy or an STD, don’t think that you are in the clear."

Seems to contradict the idea that every day can be a "do-over," doesn’t it?

Maybe this blog just hasn’t hit its stride, but I have a feeling that even if it does, I won’t be bookmarking it. Even if you’re a fan of abstinence-only programs, I’d hedge a bet that it won’t be topping your must read list either.

But that’s just my opinion. Check out the site and let me know yours!

Posted in: Health, Sex & Relationships, Hooking Up, The State of Sex Ed, Virginity
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  • enlightened

    How stupid can people be? What are they trying to achieve? Why not distribute chastity belts to all girls instead of this stupid propaganda? Do they think we are all going to agree to follow the “herd” with religious and moral police as leaders?? What a bunch of wackos. This can only happen in the country of utter madness ie THE USA. One the one had there is oprah with the sex therapist advocating masturbation and encouraging parents to buy sex toys for their teenage girls. One the other hand there are these wacky dogooders suggesting absteinance and encouraging “born again” virgins.
    Let me tell you something… the pendulum has swung too far, you are not going to bring back victorian values. There was a time when women “burnt their bras, free sex thrived and women libbers succeeded” I applaud them for liberating us from those restraining influences. Now you idiots are trying to undo everything??? Do you think you will succeed. NO NO NO NO NO. We will have sex, we will do as we please. We will decide if we want to abstain or go and have rampant sex whatever age we are. We will not be tied down and forced to accept your way of thinking.LOL. 🙂

  • Liz

    @ denise:
    I think what they mean by that is, if you're like 13 or 14, you know that you're in no position to be getting married any time soon, so there's not really much point to dating at that time, because you're going to change a lot before you're ready to get married, so finding out what you "like" or "don't like" isn't going to be of any value, because right now, you might like something that you'll end up hating.
    I also don't think its saying you should only date THE PERSON you're going to marry, just that you shouldn't date until you're looking for someone to marry. so like, when you get to be a senior in HS, or starting college or something, and you're pretty sure of where you're headed in life, then it's time to start looking for a life partner to marry.

  • Erin

    oh my gosh. I think my brain is melting after going to that website…

  • Denise

    wow this site is so stupid. I was looking through it and in one of their articles they tell you not to date unless your in the postion to get married. In my eyes that seems crazy. Ofcourse you can possibly marry the first person you date, but why would you? In my eyes dating a part of growing up. You have fun and get to learn about yourself and other people. Maybe this site should stick to abstinence

  • Jennifer

    "I oppose the concept of virginity itself."
    Here here! I do as well, such an outdated concept, and one I think that does more harm than good to young adults. How do you even define virginity for same sex couples? And what about people in general who don't adhere to the rigid definition of "Sex means vaginal intercourse only"?

  • Holly

    look at their myspace.
    in their who i'd like to meet section it just suddenly says:
    MYTH: You can trust your life to a condom. Did you know: Condoms provide no protection against Genital Warts (HPV) and very limited protection against Genital Herpes. Medication helps, but cannot cure, these viruses. Once you have them, they are yours to keep and give away. Condoms have a 15% failure rate in preventing pregnancy. The HIV virus is 450 times smaller than a sperm. If the condom fails against the sperm, you have a new life. If it fails against the HIV virus, you have death. Ever hear of Russian Roulette? It's your choice…choose wisely *Statistics provided by the Medical Institute of Sexual Health

  • sophiarose

    I think the problem with this situation, as well as many others, is that people are trying to make others choose the same choices they do. I am not necessarily a fan of gay marriage, abortion, teen sex, etc…but that is their choice and their life. trying to change them only frustrates you, when it doesnt even affect your life.

  • allison

    yeah no ones reading that blog. check out the 'forum.' 6 threads created by the mods. haha

  • Blake

    I oppose the concept of virginity itself.

  • Mandi

    Great. More "whack" abstinence to try and get to those "trippin" "screenagers". Honestly, who really talks like that?!