i like my best friend, but she’s straight

dear heather,
I’m really into my best friend. We’re both girls, and she’s straight. It’s been about seven months that I’ve liked/been really obsessed with her. I told her I like a girl, and she’s okay with it, but she doesn’t know I like her.

I like her so much and I really want her to know, but I’m so scared of rejection. I want her to like me back! What do I do?

The possibility of rejection is never easy to face, but the situation is even more complicated because you may risk damaging your friendship.

It’s great that your friend is cool with the fact that you like a girl, but the true test is how she will react when she finds out she is the girl! There are so many things that could influence her reaction. Some of it may have to do with how open she is to such relationships and whether she is curious about other girls (or you in particular).

Her reaction may, in part, depend on how you handle the situation. You might try checking in with yourself first. How much does this mean to you–enough to test the friendship? Are you prepared to let it drop and find a way to deal with your feelings if she tells you that she is not interested in you in the same way? What if she IS open to it? Will you be too enthusiastic to allow her time to catch up with you? Remember, you’ve probably been thinking about this a lot longer than she has.

If you do decide to test the waters, try not to pressure her. Give her time to think about what she wants, but take her word if she tells you “No, thanks.” You never know, though, she might just say, “Me, too.”

Good luck!

take care,

Posted in: Friends, Help Me Heather
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  • bifriends4life

    I’ve been friends with my secret crush since 10 now in our adulthood, I’ve noticed we both have this magnetic sexual attraction towards eachother that we never had before or atleast I never felt till now. Our problem is we’re both married to men with kids. So up until now we’ve never made any attempts to physically mess around. We do text a bunch or call eachother weekly. I’ve been dreaming about her nonstop, can’t get her off my mind. I only wish I could have the courage to let her know. I don’t want to mess up our friendship and don’t want to be rejected either. But my intuition is telling me to just go with it and she’s bound to give in she seems so attracted to me but our timing is always off. Anyone out there in this same situation? A lil advice would be great!!

  • Sofia

    I Truly love this girl. She is more beautiful than anything I have seen with my eyes! but she i straight… And I think she will mot tall to me again if I say. Is there an easy way to break it to girls?? Please HELP!!

    • Tori

      Ok, Sofia, I like my best friend Melissa. I told her I like her, she was fine with it! There is a 50/50 chance that she will like you, but believe me, saying it is scary. But once you say it, you’ll feel a huge wait get lifted off your shoulders!!! Just try, Sofia, and you’ll be satisfied. Good luck!!!

  • Tia

    Well you should tell how her how you feel they is a good chance that she will let you kiss her or something and I know this. Same thing happend to me and now me and my Bestie are dating and sometimes even touching each other!

  • Molly

    Well I have the same problem I want to kiss her but she’s straight and I’m bi .but I haven’t told her yet HELPP !!!!

    • LA Rose

      You wanna know something it was the same with me and my straight friend I’m bi and she’s straight but I don’t know how we became caught up in the moment and it happened. We were cuddling and it became quiet sometimes you just gotta find the right moment if she really is your friend then she hold be ok with it, maybe even be flattered depending on how she took you being bi, if she even knows??

      Good luck?,

  • kerstin

    hey im kinda like this too. she was my first kiss and i fell for her, i have been like obsessed with her for about a year and a half and i really want to like date her. i'v told her how much i love her. im not a lesbian and im not striaght yea i bi and i dont think there is anything wrong with it, shes only bi-curious thougth but im working toward getting my girl:) btw i made i chat room thing(?) about bein bi so.. yea

    • SweetHeartedSweetie

      Same here me and my bestie were each others 1 kiss. Turns out she was ok with it and we kiss alot.