A few years back, I was having brunch with my friend Paige. We had a brief catch-up session, then Paige blurted out, “Oh my God. The other night, I peed during sex!”
After getting more details, I wasn’t convinced that’s what had actually happened. I mean, I hadn’t been there, but I was pretty sure she had actually squirted, not peed.
Squirting, (often called female ejaculation) happens to about 10% of women during sex play. When a woman ejaculates, a fluid similar to the fluid found in a man’s prostate shoots out of tiny ducts at the base of her urethra. The fluid isn’t urine and ejaculation can happen at the same time a woman has an orgasm or it can happen without orgasm. A lot of people squirt when an area inside their vagina called the G-Spot is stimulated.
There is actually some debate over both female ejaculation and the existence of the G-Spot.
On the one hand, you have the old school view. This view, held by folks like Dr. Ruth, doesn’t believe in the G-Spot or female ejaculation.
The other view is held by a variety of different sexologists who have produced books and films designed to help women locate their G-Spots and learn how to ejaculate.
Now, I’m all for picking up new skills, but I do think we spend a bit too much time worrying about being able to find a part of the body and make it do a trick that a lot of people’s bodies aren’t designed for.
I knew that one of my favorite sex researchers, Dr. Betty Dodson, had some similar thoughts on the matter. Betty is a huge champion of female orgasms and the clitoris. Here’s what she had to say when I asked her:
“It’s unfortunate that the ‘G-spot’ has become the latest fashion in female sexuality. Seems it’s much easier to say G-spot than clitoris so thousands of women have gone back to the Freudian Dark age of looking for a vaginal orgasm that ends with female ejaculation if they could just find that magic spot!
"First off, the G spot is not a spot but a spongy area that surrounds the urinary tract to protect it from friction during intercourse and is part of a woman’s erectile system. On the outside we can see the clitoral glans, shaft and inner lips swell with sexual excitement. Inside the body, women have nearly as much erectile tissue as men with the legs and bulbs of the clitoris that fill up with blood when sexually aroused.
"The spongy tissue that surrounds the urinary tract has many small prostate-like glands. When firm pressure and friction are applied to the ceiling of the vagina pressing into the urinary tract above, some women enjoy the sensation and others find it irritating. The majority of women do not squirt during orgasm. Some women have learned how to squirt and are convinced it’s the cat’s meow while others are clear it is not part of their sexual arousal pattern.
"It has been my experience that most women prefer a combination of clitoral stimulation along with vaginal penetration which is sometimes called the blended orgasm. We must remember that no two women are exactly alike so different strokes for different folks."