how do i tell my mom i want birth control?

dear heather,

I want to tell my mom I want to get on birth control but I don’t know what to do. I mean–tell my mom that we had sex and tell her to get me on birth control? How do I say that? I just don’t know. Can you please help me?

Breaking the news that you’re having sex to a parent can be quite tough. You risk putting yourself in a situation than can be very uncomfortable to say the least. But if your mom is receptive to the idea of helping to guide you through this, she would be a great ally in exploring the range of birth control methods available to you.Some methods, like condoms, are available over the counter, but I suspect you already know that. Used alone, they are not as effective as the pill, the diaphragm or an IUD. (To read more about birth control options, check out our chart.) Parents usually control the purse strings and the health insurance that will allow you to investigate these more reliable options, which may involve a larger outlay of money.

Only you can decide whether to speak with your mother or not. Can you talk about other things easily or does she have religious or moral values that may interfere with her acceptance of the situation? If you feel she may be receptive, appealing to her reason may help to keep her focused on the reality. You might want to emphasize that you feel you are mature enough to handle a sexual relationship (if you feel that way) and that you really want to be responsible in the situation. No doubt, it will probably be hard for her to get used to the idea, though.

If you don’t feel that you can share this with your mom, you should know that most states protect teens’ rights to confidential services. That means you can visit a clinic like Planned Parenthood or a gynecologist on your own to get oral contraceptives or be fitted for a diaphragm or IUD–or simply, to explore your options.

I would highly recommend using more accessible means of contraception, particularly condoms, in the meantime (and even after you get on another form of birth control). You already know how important it is to guard against pregnancy, but there are also sexually transmitted diseases to consider.

take care,

Posted in: Family, Help Me Heather