dear heather,
I’m 17 years old and my boyfriend of three years I and just had sex. It was great because I really do love him and I know he loves me. I’m just afraid. I made him wear two condoms because I thought it would be safer. I was scared and really didn’t want to get pregnant so he did and we’re pretty sure it didn’t break, but I’m really scared. I am supposed to have my period either today or tomorrow and my periods are always irregular.

Having sex for the first time is a big step to take. I’m sure it felt right at the time, but actually having sex seems to have made you aware of the very real considerations you must face when you are sexually active. You seem particularly concerned about pregnancy, but there are also emotional consequences that go along with that decision, as you are clearly seeing. In addition, there are sexually transmitted diseases to worry about, including HIV. (I am happy you’re using condoms, however, using two condoms at once could actually lead to breakage or tearing due to the extra friction.)Sometimes anxiety is helpful because it lets you know that, however “logically” you believe you have thought things out, something still doesn’t feel right. I would recommend that you think seriously about whether you are really ready to have sex. Having sex once does not mean that you must have it again, until you are ready to do so. Your boyfriend seems understanding; I hope he would be patient with you if you decide to wait a bit longer.

But if your anxiety is more about the dependability of your birth control method, consider using a spermicide in addition to condoms during sex. Or talk to a medical practitioner at a family health clinic like Planned Parenthood about using birth control pills. Both spermicides and the pill will provide additional protection against pregnancy, but not sexually transmitted diseases. The use of condoms is still highly recommended.To learn more about different methods of birth control, check out our chart.

take care,
heather