I am a Pagan, but I go to a Christian school. I know that my parents want me to remain faithful to the Wiccan faith, and deep down, I think I do too. But sometimes when I see all the students going up for communion and reading their bibles and just having that solid law to live by, I get jealous and think about converting. Sometimes it’s just so uncomfortable sitting in chapel and knowing that I’m not really welcome there. How can I make myself feel more comfortable with my religion in such a Christian place?
It’s hard to remain true to your beliefs in an environment where you are odd-girl-out. The constant pressure to fit in must feel like it’s too much to bear sometimes. It sounds as though you may also feel some sense of obligation to remain true to the Wiccan faith. In the face of all of this, you must feel torn.It might be helpful to try and fight the feeling that you must “choose.” There may actually be some things that you admire about Christianity. Some Wiccans believe that there are grains of truth in many different religions and pick and choose those practices and beliefs that they find most helpful. Others who have come from Christian backgrounds retain some of their Christian practices and feel fine about the mixture of influences. Spirituality is as personal as a fingerprint. It’s okay to ask yourself questions about the kind of practices that satisfy you most and it’s okay to mix and match.
No matter what age you are, exploring, questioning and getting to know yourself better is always a good idea. But if you feel that attending a Christian school is really just too hard for you, explain the situation to your parents and ask them to explore sending you to a more neutral school environment. I’m sure it’s not easy being a pagan adult either–they’re likely to understand.