my best guy friend talks about girls too much

dear heather,
I am good friends with a guy who I have also had relations with. I care about him a lot and I know he is one of the best friends I have because I can tell him almost anything. I just don’t know if this is healthy. We have kissed, and we talk about sex all the time, and the feeling is totally mutual. I don’t want to be tied down and neither does he. He refers to us as the “unofficial couple”. Still, I feel uncomfortable when he talks about other girls. I don’t want to go out with him, but i don’t want to hear about what girls he thinks are hot. Please help me. Tell me what is going on!

Wow. I guess I would have to say that I am a little bit confused about what is going on. Are you interested in anyone else specifically? Do you ever bring up other boys around this friend?

Maybe you and your friend need to sit down, even in a joking way, and ask each other exactly what is going on. It seems like you may both be coming from totally different places, but it is possible that you may have the same point of view. Right now his constant joking and teasing with you might be his way of showing affection, but if it’s making you upset, it’s only going to make your relationship more stressful for you, and he needs to know that.

Sometimes you really need to figure out if someone is just better as a friend with lots of tension and decide to just leave it at that, enjoying both the friendship and the occasional confused flirtations.

take care,
heather


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