how do you french kiss?

dear heather,
I just wanted to email you to ask you how exactly do you kiss someone? I mean tongue kiss, French kiss, or neck someone. This is kinda embarrassing ’cause I know everyone knows how to tongue kiss and I am the only one who doesn’t. I am afraid to ask my friends. They all know how and might make fun of me. I have only had two bfs and they dumped me because I didn’t kiss right? I tried! That’s why I don’t get into relationships, because know I can’t kiss and I don’t wanna show everyone my bad side!
Kissing is an instinctual thing–there’s no one right way to do it. It’s all about what feels good for you and the person you are kissing. Did your ex-boyfriends tell you personally that they thought you didn’t kiss right? If so, it was an individual thing for them and while it could give you some insight to find out what they didn’t like about your kisses, it says nothing about what someone else will like. Or maybe some friends have told you about their kissing experiences and you feel like your experiences don’t measure up.French kissing and tongue kissing are the same thing: kissing with your mouth open and putting your tongue into the open mouth of the person you are kissing, and vice-versa. Necking is just extended kissing with someone, either with an open or closed mouth.

If you are with the right person it will feel pretty good, no matter how you are doing it. Especially if you relax into it a little. Even though you say you don’t want to show people your bad side, there’s no reason to avoid kissing if you are with someone you want to kiss who also wants to kiss you. If you feel strange about it, maybe tell the other person you’d like to practice different techniques.

It’s a good idea not to compare your kissing techniques and strategies with your friends, though. Everyone is different, and what works for them and their crushes or significant others isn’t necessarily what will feel good with the person you like and are kissing.

take care,

Posted in: Dating, Help Me Heather, Love Advice
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