i’m jealous of my friend

dear heather,
I’ve been best friends with this girl for 3 years. About a year ago I started to really become jealous of her. I want everything she has–like all the people who love her.

Every time I’m with her and other people, I feel like I’m not wanted. Like I’m only being tolerated because she’s there. I don’t really even like shopping with her because she tries on a lot of the same things I do, and I’m becoming afraid of how much better she’ll look in them. It’s not only her body either–she smart, incredibly nice and understanding. I know nobody’s perfect but she’s so close it’s depressing.

I really hate myself for, in one way, loving her sooo much but also hating her. What can I do?

Jealousy is one of those sucky emotions that can really take over your mind. Being frustrated with your friend and your own emotions is very natural. Everyone feels jealous of someone at some point in their lives. You can either focus on your jealousy and let it get worse or move forward with your own life.

As you said, no one is even close to perfect. It may seem like your friend has everything, but surely there are some other elements to her that you aren’t quite so envious of.

In general, it’s a good idea not to compare yourself to your friend–or to anyone. It is not very constructive or useful because everyone in the world has such a different set of circumstances in their lives.

Also, you may think your friend is friendly, smart and looks good, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t have those qualities yourself. Whatever your own opinion and thoughts are about something, those are yours alone. It may seem like your friend would look better in clothes than you would, but other people might have a totally different view.

It may be helpful to tell your friend how you feel, although that may feel weird. Whatever you do, keep in mind that people are made up of a lot of different qualities and values, and that each person is unique in their own way.

take care,

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  • dils

    I understand too infact i go through the same thing especially cus my bestfriend is like ultraskinny sometimes i think shes so petite and cute and small (i’m 5’7} everyone would like her. But then i realised that i myself have good qualities sure not the same ones as her and sometimes i still feel jealous but all you have to do is love yourself because if you won’t who will?

    Try to appreciate what YOU have and work with that like if you feel happy it will show and everyone will notice you more so move on and enjoy !!!

  • Chynna Hess

    I know how u feel. My bff is SUPER talented. She plays piano, she sings and she dose ballet!
    Whenever we go to parties people always ask her to sing a song. All i do is play drums and sing a little. But nothing compared to her. Sometime i just want to crawl into a corner and scream at the top of my lungs!!! I mean i love her to death and hangout with her alot but im just sooo jelous.