i really like this disabled guy

dear heather,
I really like this guy. He’s in a wheelchair and only a few of my close friends know that I like him, but I told him and he told me he likes me as well. If we date, I think that some people will make fun of us and hurt his feelings. How should I handle people like that?

Starting a new romance with anyone is risky. As a potential new girlfriend, it makes sense that you would want to protect both your love interest and yourself from any nastiness and negativity that a relationship could bring up.First, I suggest talking to this guy about your concerns. Since he is the person with the disability, he has most likely dealt with insensitivity and had his feelings hurt before. Whether or not you start dating him, he will continue to be in a wheelchair and will have to deal with all the reactions that come his way. He may have some ideas on how to handle difficult people or situations where his disability is concerned–and perhaps the reactions of others don’t hurt his feelings in the ways you think they will.

If you do encounter negative reactions, there are various ways in which you can respond: You can ignore the person, for example, or you can try to educate the person about the situation and their own ignorance. (See another help me heather on this topic)

Rather than expecting the worst and worrying yourself silly over what others may say or do because of your relationship, I suggest holding off on your worries for the time being–just see what happens. There might not be any reactions at all…

You are having good feelings about someone, which is a rare and positive thing. Remembering this may also help keep you from worrying so much about what others will think.

take care,
heather


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