my beliefs are different from my church

dear heather,

I am catholic and about ready to confirm. The only thing is that I believe different things than what is in the catholic religion. I know that everybody has different views about religion, but I feel my beliefs are different from my church’s. I have told my mom this and my religious education teacher this and my big question is, “Should I be confirmed?” I don’t want my family to be disappointed and I don’t want to lie about my religion either!! Is there somebody else I could talk to?? What do you think?? HELP!!!!!

This sounds like a difficult issue for you, and it’s no wonder. Spiritual issues combined with family ones can go deep.Your thinking does seem pretty clear, though, including your inclination to find someone else to talk to. Depending on what your mom and your religious education teacher have already told you, an extra perspective or two might help.

Is there a priest or someone else in the Church who might have some experience with this issue? Someone not involved in the Church, such as a school counselor, could also help you sort out your thoughts.

It may be that in the process of talking about your differences with the Church, you will come to a clearer decision about whether Catholicism is broad enough to accommodate your beliefs–or whether you want to postpone your confirmation. Perhaps you’ll decide to be confirmed later on or find another religion that suits you better. Or maybe you are just having some last-minute doubts because confirmation feels like a big step. Only you know the answers.

These decisions may be very hard for you to make, especially if you feel your family would be disappointed. But they will probably be a lot easier to consider once you have talked out all the options.

take care,

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