does my handicap bother my crush?

dear heather,

I am handicapped and this girl that I have a crush on knows I am handicapped. But how do I know if she really doesn’t care about it?

It sounds like the excitement of having a crush–and wondering nervously how the object of your affection feels–has an extra edge for you. And I can understand why: People can be pretty closed-minded about differences of all kinds.You may be barking up the wrong tree if you want to make sure this girl “doesn’t care” about your handicap, however. Pretty much anyone would have some kind of feeling about it, and that’s not a bad thing. “Caring” could mean a million different things, ranging from curiosity to indifference to annoyance.

It’s hard to know exactly what to suggest without more information about your handicap, but simply by befriending this girl, you’re finding out how she feels. What I mean is: If you have a connection with each other, then you have a connection! If you have purple hair and somebody likes you, it means they like you–pure and simple.

It sounds like you may want to explore her feelings more than that, however, and if you don’t want to ask her directly about them, one idea is to bring up the topic casually, maybe by mentioning something related that’s going on now or that happened in the past.

In any case, my advice is to remember that finding out more about the girl’s personality may be the best way to learn about her.

take care,
heather


Posted in: Being Different, Help Me Heather
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